SoulCollage® and Constellation work

I am having 52 SC cards at the moment and they are usually in a box. For a while I have been wanting to have a visual summary of all my cards but apart from just putting them all out on a table, I didn’t have a clever idea. So when a friend suggested today to try to do a SC constellation, I felt I had been given the missing link.

I went into the garden and started lying the cards on the ground – just intuitively without thinking, without trying to put them in their according decks. This alone was not easy because how do I NOT THINK. How do I NOT GO by their names, their energy, their deck. Some of my cards didn’t want to go anywhere, so I left them on the side. When I looked at the result, I was not impressed. It was a mess to say the least.

DSC_1342_cropped

I have had the pleasure of participating in quite a few constellations, so I took my leanings from there and I put order into the chaos. I started moving my cards around. I re-grouped them. I still tried not to work with the four SC decks (committee, community, council, companion), but to FEEL my way through. I came up with the following result:

DSC_1348_cropped

At the bottom are the four year cards from 2011-2014. That felt like my past. Then there is a vertical line starting with my only two companion cards: the lion in my third and the snake in my fourth chakra. Above it my 2015 card moving me into my present and above it my “Who am I” card. That card is really the center piece. On its left my two children and on its right my husband, who is further away from me than my daughters. Above me my brain tumor card and on its right my panic card.

Horizontally DSC_1351_croppedabove are cards that represent my color angels together with some additional cards. Starting from the far right the red angel. He represents my life force, my energy, my strength, my passion. With it I put a fire card with shouts at me in anger and my prophet, India and female vulnerability sensibility card. The red in it gives me the passion. On their right I put a card that had a lot of orange in it, my pause card. Dominantly in the center is a woman imagining her future (NLP theory eye movement). Then the yellow cards are coming. First my red dress card, which has something to do with feeling like a woman, feeling love for myself, accepting myself and showing myself just the way I am. Then there is the yellow angel card. Golden, yellow, flowers, fruits, wonder… I find on it. The scheme of the couple is also found on the next card, which is the green angel card. Love, compassion, sharing, dancing through life together, going with the flow… Then the blue angel which is for me the ocean, the endlessness, the freedom of speech, the peace I find there, the simplicity. The ice bird card had to be there too. Its name trinity, gives me peace of mind, security, and stability – although he is sitting in the midst of the flow. The last card in that line is the violet angel. This card doesn’t usually talk much, it marks its presence with its bright colors.

On the right hand side of my center piece I placed some additional community cards including the spiritual guide card.

On the left of the center piece are some cards around the feeling at peaceful, tranquil, centered, grounded and aware.

Above the angel row is my evolutionDSC_1356_croppedfrom a carefree baby, to an open minded child, a joyful teenager, a young woman in its different roles, a mature reflective woman to my wise old lady card. Most of them are committee cards apart from my wise old lady being a council card, which is logical since I am not quite there yet being a wise old lady myself.

Above those cards are two more. First my beautiful ‘The singing Ringing Tree‘ card. The name comes from a fairy tale. And above it my creator card.

Two cards close the top left corner of my constellation: my personal observer card and one I haven’t given a name yet. The other side is closed by a series that shows my higher self: the brain card (Buddha), and a very silent card underneath and to their right three elements: water, wood and air.

Finally there where only two cards representing me and my professional life. I didn’t like that at all. This might explain why I am just not as successful I wish I would be. So I went around my constellation and picked cards to strengthen my professional self. This felt really good and what did I learn from that? I have to be the creator of my own professional success. My energy, my passion is important. I have to be me, the me that reaches for the stars and the me that is vulnerable and frightened. I should take neither me nor life too serious. And the learning from the fairy tale – well at the end everything will be ok 🙂

DSC_1357_croppedDSC_1359_cropped

I guess there are many ways to do what I did today in terms of constellation work. I loved especially working towards being more successful and thinking what qualities, what energies are needed.

And yes, after all that there are still cards that don’t seem to belong anywhere. Maybe they should retire – just like some old believes of mine.

And after having done all of that, I started again. And I realized how much fun it was to move cards around, to create new constellations, new groups, new impressions. This was my final version, which I love the most. Have fun.

DSC_1343b_cropped

Reframing my own “I am the one who…”

I am again and again amazed how much of a difference it makes if you do, well to be precise … how much of a difference it makes if I make a SoulCollage® card all by myself or if I am in a group.

So when I finally decided to make my ‘tumor’ card, I was with people. I have had found the image ages ago, but I didn’t dare to make the card, and when I did dare, I didn’t find any images to go with it.

On that Tuesday morning we were 4 people and I loved the atmosphare. I was actually facilitating the process but also making my own card. In fact the images came to me easily. The background was found quickly and I was just playing around with some details.

tumorAnyway, I did finish the card that day and as soon as it was done, it not only scare me, it panicked me. You might wonder how a card can panic somebody. I couldn’t even do the IAOW. All I could see where my worst nightmares coming true.

A few days before I had gone through a very emotional process of describing how and where I wanted to be buried in case of my death. One has to know that I had been told earlier in January that my tumor had grown again and that I would need yet another operation. I had described that I wanted my ashes to be scattered at a specific beach with only my close family around. So, seeing now the ocean and a row of ‘people’ brought back that thought.

Initially I didn’t want to seagulls to be visible and had tried to over them up. Then finally it dawned on my: The seagulls must stay. They reminded me of one of my favorite books ‘Jonathan Seagull’ by Richard Bach. That seagull followed his dream even beyond his own death. But the thought of Jonathan living on in another spiritual realm, did not comfort me. It only underlined this whole feeling of the card showing me my immediate future.

And that woman with the wings. Well, the wings were initially a tattoo on a woman’s back and I had wanted to keep the whole back, but it didn’t look nice. So I cut out the wings and thought of using them to cover up the seagulls. Then I got the strong feeling that there was something missing and found finally that meditating woman and the wings flew to her. Now there was an angel present at what looked to me like my own funeral.

Out of desperation I reached out to the SoulCollage® community and wrote the following message on social media pages: ‘This card is freaking me out. Only because I have certain associations with the main image. Help me out here. What do you see? If the card could speak, how would it finish this sentence: “I am the one who…”?’

And the community answered my cry for help.

There are many voices that could speak. I will start from what I sense as a bit of shadow, the paper cut-out girls: “I am the one who conforms and fits in with others. Even though I am vanilla, there is part of me that (wishes?) to fly with the birds, with the angels, free and without fear. Calm when the storms bring violent waves, gliding smoothly in fierce winds. (This is important, since I am made of fragile paper).” Note that the bird figures resemble each other in a similar way to the cut-out dolls. these would then say to me: “We also fit in with each other, we fly in unison, in harmony, because love unifies us, and it is a beautiful thing, to dance together to the beat of life.” Sylvia

There is so much beauty and gentleness in this card, and so much longing (Sehnsucht). “I am the one who understands that we are all one – because we’re all part of the same humanity. I am also the one who knows that there are still hardships to be conquered on the way, but there is beauty and love in these hardships too. And, as we follow life’s flow and dance through whatever it has in mind for us, we get in touch with the one we really are, and the endless freedom this entails. I am the one who smiles, because I know that this is where I’m going.” Marika

I am one who is searching for peace and light for everyone around the world May you find your happiness!!!” Monique

“I Am One Who rests in the stillness of the busy world around me. I access deeper realms of Presence where only Angels fly and am a LightBearer of the beauty of Silence. I Am One Who listens to the ones we see and the Ones we don’t. My life is a sacred bridge to the eternal Now.” Sue

Und hier einige für meine deutsch sprachigen Leser:

“Ich bin diejenige, die beflügelt durch das Leben tanzt.” Beatrice

“Ich bin die, die mit der Freude des Kindes mit den Elementen tanzt!” Doris

Ich bin die, die ihr inneres Kind in Liebe wiegen soll und darf. Das Spielerische dieses Kindes, im Aussen leben darf und soll! Es ist mein "Unteres Selbst", welches wieder zum Vorschein kommen möchte! Ich bin die, die ihr "Mittleres Selbst" entwirren muss. Die zähen Fäden durchschneiden und abschütteln darf! Da mein "Höheres Selbst" schon alles hat und weiss, darf ich zu ihm reisen und es fragen, was im Moment das Beste für mich ist und wie ich handeln darf. Auch bin ich die,die mit ihrem uraltem Wissen auf eine Reise gehen wird. Es wird alles gut!” Dagmar

With every single word I read, I felt calmer. Some of the readings were touching on my deep felt worries. But I felt held in the community. I had a chance of REFRAMING my own card. Reframing we are using in NLP coaching when we try to look at things through a different lens. For example ‘a problem can also be an opportunity’ etc. So purely by reading what other woman had seen through their lenses and assuming that we are all connected and one, those different lenses helped me with my own lens.

In the meantime, I love this card. Yes, maybe it showed me my future, but it didn’t have a time stamp on it. So who knows when my family might be standing on that beach. So here it goes. This is my “IAOW pulls through the see guarded by a group of people on one side and spiritual beings on the other side. There is no way out for me and nobody seems scared of me. IAOW is surrounded by peace, calm, focus, aspiration, determination and childlike trust and faith.”

My animal companion in my 4th chakra

Since I started with SoulCollage® in 2011 I had never made a companion card. So when I did my facilitator training with Mariabruna last year, I experienced my very first guided meditation during which I saw a snake in my heart.

A snake ! I am not only scared of snakes. I can honestly say I am freaking out when I see one on TV, in a magazine and I am screaming if I think I saw one in nature. So my guided meditation was not a very pleasurable experience.

It isn’t therefore surprising that it took me over a year to actually make my card. The whole idea of having to touch the images… put a stop to an attempt for many months. Previously I had created my green angel as a companion card.

Green Angel – Companion – 4th Chakra

companion_heart_snake

Companion – 4th Chakra

What I find beautiful is to find similarities between those two cards. Do you see them too?

IAOW is hiding and only comes out when it feels really safe. IAOW holds your heart at heart and who is never alone. We feel safe where we are. And because we are not alone, we see everything.